“Isn’t it funny, we can make a lot of money. Buy a lot of things just to feel a lot of ugly.” – 2009 by Mac Miller After graduating from college, I made a decent amount of money at my first job. I always knew and followed the “money can’t buy happiness” idea, but no…
200 Words a Day: There’s a Light
Things are getting brighter. I think there’s a light at the end of this long tunnel. I’m still miserable. I still have moments where I don’t want to be alive. But there’s more time in between those moments. What used to be an hourly thought has morphed into a every couple of days thought. So…
Mental Health Awareness Day: A Better Future
I’ll be honest, I had no clue mental health awareness day was today. I didn’t go to sleep last night thinking about mental health awareness day… I honestly didn’t know it existed. But with how many “Days” we have, I’m not surprised. And god damn I’m so glad it exists. Today has been weird. I’ve…
200 Words a Day: Why Do I Write?
So I’ve decided to make “200 Words a Day” a series of sorts on this page. That’s not to say that I’ll be posting daily, but I like the idea of sharing the words that come out of this journey. Since I began this website, the writing has been very heavy hearted about love, heartbreak,…
200 Words a Day: Writing About Writing
So I made this commitment to writing 200 words per day… As I started writing, it was really easy. But as time has gone on, the writing has become more challenging. Maybe it’s because I think too much about it. Or maybe I’m too confident in it now. Maybe it’s like my golf game…. It…
Why (I Think) I’m Depressed
A friend of mine asked me “What’s making you depressed?”. And I was kinda surprised when I realized I haven’t been asked that question before. And that’s a big question. A question I have never really answered in its entirety. So what the hell, I’m going to try. Sounds therapeutic. I think it initially stems…
Depression Has Changed Dave Matthews for Me
If you know me, you’re probably aware that I love Dave Matthews Band. You could even say I’m obsessed. I’ve been to 51 Dave Matthews shows. I’ve seen them in 9 Countries, 11 States and 29 different venues. But I don’t listen to much Dave Matthews anymore. I Can’t. I’m afraid to. Depression and suicidal…
Reflections
Looking into the mirror is a weird thing. The other day I heard that our brains perceive ourselves as being 5 times more attractive in the mirror than we actually are. Fuck. That sucks. So I’m not really a soft 6 on a good day? Yikes. On a more serious note, depression has changed my…
Gorgeous Blondes
I love you. You’re absolutely stunning. But even if you were interested in me, it wouldn’t work. I’m wrong for you. Yeah. I said that right. The chubby guy with crooked teeth said he is wrong for you. I’ve dreamed about you. Daily. But I’m not even close to you now. Right now, you’re the…
Void of Purpose
I believe we all have a purpose in this world. No, not some god given purpose. I don’t believe in that sort of thing. I believe we all have the opportunity to seek purpose. To find something that intrinsically motivates us. Something that we would do for free if money was not a factor. Something…
Behind The Suit 