I Sat in the Rain Today

I sat in the rain today.

I sat in the rain today and felt in the moment.

I felt in the moment as my shirt and hair became saturated.

My shirt and hair felt heavy as I embraced the sound of the moment.

This moment made me discover a fundamental truth about my current predicament.

My life has felt heavy lately.

Depression and suicidal ideation is heavy.

It’s like walking around with rain soaked hair and clothing.

Depression and suicidal ideation feels like you’re walking around in the rain.

It feels like you’re walking around in the rain, but you can’t find cover in any direction.

I sat in the rain today.

I sat in the rain today and it turned into a drizzle.

One of these days, the rain will no longer pour. It will only drizzle.

This drizzle will become a sprinkle and the sprinkle will cease altogether.

My clothes will be drenched. My surroundings will be drenched. The street, the houses & trees.

Birds will begin to chirp.

My clothes, the street, the houses and trees.

They will all begin to dry as the smell of a thunderstorm .

The water will take a while to drain away. Sometimes there’s flooding.

But the water will always drain away. The flowers will bloom and the sun will shine.

I sat in the rain today.

I rain in the rain today and it made me realize.

It made me realize that my depression is a period of rain.

It made me realize that suicidal ideation is a torrential downpour.

This torrential downpour will take a while to dry and will lead to flooding.

But it will also bring the flowers to life. The birds will chirp and the sun will shine.

My depression will subside.

Suicidal ideation will become a memory.

I’ll smile again as the chirping birds in life bring joy.

The sunshine will return to my life and feel like it never left.

It will rain again. But this time I’ll remember what it feels like on the other side.

I sat in the rain today.

I sat in the rain today and the sun will shine. Eventually.