Things are getting brighter. I think there’s a light at the end of this long tunnel. I’m still miserable. I still have moments where I don’t want to be alive. But there’s more time in between those moments. What used to be an hourly thought has morphed into a every couple of days thought. So…
Tag: Depression
Mental Health Awareness Day: A Better Future
I’ll be honest, I had no clue mental health awareness day was today. I didn’t go to sleep last night thinking about mental health awareness day… I honestly didn’t know it existed. But with how many “Days” we have, I’m not surprised. And god damn I’m so glad it exists. Today has been weird. I’ve…
Why (I Think) I’m Depressed
A friend of mine asked me “What’s making you depressed?”. And I was kinda surprised when I realized I haven’t been asked that question before. And that’s a big question. A question I have never really answered in its entirety. So what the hell, I’m going to try. Sounds therapeutic. I think it initially stems…
Pickled Emotions
“Isn’t it funny, we can make a lot of money. Buy a lot of things just to feel a lot of ugly.” – 2009 by Mac Miller After graduating from college, I made a decent amount of money at my first job. I always knew and followed the “money can’t buy happiness” idea, but no…
Depression Has Changed Dave Matthews for Me
If you know me, you’re probably aware that I love Dave Matthews Band. You could even say I’m obsessed. I’ve been to 51 Dave Matthews shows. I’ve seen them in 9 Countries, 11 States and 29 different venues. But I don’t listen to much Dave Matthews anymore. I Can’t. I’m afraid to. Depression and suicidal…
Reflections
Looking into the mirror is a weird thing. The other day I heard that our brains perceive ourselves as being 5 times more attractive in the mirror than we actually are. Fuck. That sucks. So I’m not really a soft 6 on a good day? Yikes. On a more serious note, depression has changed my…
Void of Purpose
I believe we all have a purpose in this world. No, not some god given purpose. I don’t believe in that sort of thing. I believe we all have the opportunity to seek purpose. To find something that intrinsically motivates us. Something that we would do for free if money was not a factor. Something…
Chasing Happiness
In the time since I graduated from college in 2015, I’ve come to realize I have a bit of a tendency to force happiness. I throw money and experiences towards the pursuit of happiness. I’ve chased a prestigious Management Consulting career in hopes of finding happiness. But it hasn’t made me happy. And it’s taken…
For now, What if is Enough
Hey pretty lady in line at the Charlotte airport main concourse Starbucks. Hey gorgeous girl on the bar patio with your golden retriever. Hey graduate student at the bar ordering shots. Hey to the 100’s of others. For now, let’s leave it as an imaginary hey that I’m writing from 35,000 feet. When I saw…
35,000 ft Closer to Happiness
If you haven’t picked up on it, I fly a lot. Between work and pleasure, I’m addicted to traveling now. I took about 180 flights in 2018. I spent more time in a plane than I spent in a car. More time spent in plane and airports than my own bed. But I’ve never truly…
Behind The Suit 