Void of Purpose

I believe we all have a purpose in this world.

No, not some god given purpose. I don’t believe in that sort of thing.

I believe we all have the opportunity to seek purpose. To find something that intrinsically motivates us. Something that we would do for free if money was not a factor. Something we genuinely enjoy as if it is a beautiful vacation.

Some of us are purpose driven in our work. Others are not.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer.

I have found that I’m a purposeful work driven person.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t.

Sometimes I wish I found purpose elsewhere.

I wish I viewed work as simply a source of income.

But I can’t.

If these last 4 years have taught me anything, it’s that making a good salary performing a job that lacks intrinsic value and purpose for me is miserable.

So instead, the money ends up attempting to fill that void.

Alcohol and use attempts to fill that void.

Drowning works momentarily.

But you’re not truly filling the void. Just numbing the pain of its existence.

As I begin this journey towards a new career, my main focus is filling the purpose void I’m currently experiencing. But it’s hard to process.

It’s hard to stay focused on being purpose driven.

Money speaks.

It can drive you away from purpose.

It can feel like a purpose.

But I’ve made that mistake before. And I don’t want to suffer the pain from doing it a third time. It will take a while to recover from the initial damage a void of purpose has caused.

I need to move on. Let my mind reset itself. Let travel go as my means of filling the void.

I hope that a purpose driven career will reduce my constant need to be elsewhere.

Because as of now, I’m fully and ultimately addicted to travel.

I want purpose again.

I’m tired of running from this void of purpose.